We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Buddha Witha Gun

by DEan Bonzani

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5 USD  or more

     

1.
Plain White Square 02:42
lyrics
buy track
Plain White Square (Words and Music ©1992 by Dean Bonzani) Life in the city's too exciting I wish that it could be a bore Just when I think I'm going crazy My plain white square walks through the door You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you, love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you my plain white square How I wish you'd be my panda Oh, won't you be my honey bear I want to read you your Mirandas I love you just because you're there You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you, love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you my plain white square Aaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah plain white square Aaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah plain white square Aaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah plain white square Aaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah plaine white square I love the way you make me stupid I love the way you make me numb I want to dress you up like Cupid I love it when you act so dumb... You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you, love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you my plain white square You weren't there, now you're there Love you, love you my plain white square
2.
Bruce Is Not A Human 04:41
lyrics
buy track
Bruce Is Not A Human (music and words by Dean Bonzani, copyright 1982) Bruce is not a human He's an overstuffed, remote-controlled teddy bear Never mind his vacant stare 'Cause you know there's nothing going on in there Bruce is quite complacent He doesn't know what's happening He cannot smell the scent of fear And that's what makes him happy AND Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human He's been kept in a box with an airtight lid He doesn't know what truth is His mind is filled with Cheez Whiz™ And his parents made him that way And they're very proud of him BUT Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human Bruce is not a human He will put him in the closet We will keep him in the pantry There he will be very happy There he will be fine and dandy Bruce is not a human And we don't know what he is He's not a human And we don't know what he is He's not a human And we don't know what he is He's not a human And we don't know what he IS WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE IS
3.
Don't Cry, Al 04:24
lyrics
buy track
Don't Cry, Al (words & music ©1998 by Dean Bonzani) Don't cry, Al You can never tell When the wiles of Uncertainty Will tip your hand All is well Yeah, all is really well You just need to get naked in some daisies When your thoughts begin to swell Grab your coat and hat Box up Schrödinger's cat Time to run down to the corner For some tasty, frozen fruit-flavoured fat All that dusty chalk And all that brainy talk Makes you want to walk Toward strawberry ice cream What'd you tell your mom? Those were your equations in the bomb I'll bet she was pissed off at you For more than a week Time doesn't matter And these matters take time Time to matter Oh, it's time to take some time When you've had your ration Of reason and equations It's good to soothe your passions With frosty pink libations Sometimes all you want Sometimes all you want Sometimes all you want Is strawberry ice cream What'd you tell your mom? Those were your equations in the bomb I'll bet she was pissed off at you For more than a week Don't cry, Al Don't cry, Al The weight of your shoulders Is on the world Sometimes it's all you want Sometimes it's all you want Sometimes it's all you want Sometimes
4.
Pint Sized Riot 03:13
lyrics
buy track
Pint Sized Riot (words and music copyright 2002 by Dean Bonzani) This is not a circus act We may be little but we'll kick your ass Mayhem's our product and you're going to buy it We're starting a pint sized riot! This bozo bus is all over the road Our fuses are short, we're gonna explode We're a force of nature and you can't deny it We're starting a pint sized riot! Pack up the clown car, it's time to ROCK! We're small and nasty and acting up The milk of loving kindness isn't in our diet We're starting a pint sized riot! Look at us wrong and we'll bite your shins We'd pop you in the puss if we could reach your chin Don't you laugh before you get to try it We're starting a pint sized riot!
5.
Gorby and Cherney 03:53
lyrics
buy track
Gorby and Cherney (music and lyrics by Dean Bonzani, copyright 2003) Here comes some big big juju I can feel it through the floor Yeah, it really gets you moving Like an electric rubber chicken I was saving my passion for a rainy day But I guess I'll have to splurge My bones seem to have a life of their own And who am I to fight the urge The urge The urge Oooooo, the urge Feel like I'm under a microscope Look up, and there's a great big eye Criminy, officer— I'm just a citizen Not a video or some kind of criminal There's an eight-legged horse under an ashen sky And I guess there's more where that came from In Russia, they're growing pigs with no eyes Them and me, we're just two of a kind Two of a kind Yeah, two of a kind Big ears, and stone blind Blind, I tell you. Blind.
6.
Monkey Biscuit 07:28
lyrics
buy track
Monkey Biscuit (words and music copyright 2003 by Dean Bonzani) I'm really glad to meetcha I'm really glad I metcha You shake hands like an octopus You smile like a placenta There's a smell in the room and it's making me quiver Like a jelly on a shingle Like amoebas in my liver Is it me, or did it really get dark in here There's a greasy little button on my primitive fear There's a twitchy little finger that's just aching to push it And it twitches and it twitches and it twitches No matter how you bend it No difference if you twist it You're still at the mercy of your monkey biscuit No matter how you bend it No matter how you bake it You're still going to take it from your monkey biscuit I'm sweating like a zebra in my PVC trousers You're talking like a fever and it lingers for hours Jim is in the bushes where he's making a distraction Marlon's in the Rover where he's checking out the action There's a camera in my face and it's gauging my emotions An audience of scavengers that hangs on every photon It's sucking all the gravy from my primitive soul No matter how you bend it No difference if you twist it You're still at the mercy of your monkey biscuit No matter how you bend it No matter how you bake it You're still going to take it from your monkey biscuit Got to take this all somewhere Like I'm not dick deep in monkey hair Try to think like I'm divine Find some better uses for my time Chirping like a lucky cricket Humming in my monkey biscuit Hung like jewels in my mind Phosphorescent monkey shines And it's sucking and it's sucking and it's sucking
7.
Let Me Be Your Girlfriend 02:41
lyrics
buy track
Let Me Be Your Girlfriend (Words and Music by Dean Bonzani, copyright 2003) Let me be your girlfriend We could stay up all night long You could tell me all those dirty little secrets That you'd never dare to tell anyone Let me be your girlfriend I could be your Power Puff Bend some gender Let's pretend I'm as tender as your knuckle dragging boyfriends were rough You've been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole Maybe it's time you considered a different approach Let me be your girlfriend I could be your confidante You could tell me nasty little stories While you're pulling your pajamas on Let me be your girlfriend We could have a slumber night I could slather you with moisturing lotion Then we'd have a vicious pillow fight You've been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole Maybe it's time you considered a different approach Let me be your girlfriend I will be your bestest friend I will be your bestest bosom buddy I'll stick with you 'til the very end Let me be your girlfriend We could share everything we've got We could dress up in kimonos Grab some sushi, baby That would make it really hot You've been trying to fit a square peg in a round hole Maybe it's time you considered a different approach How can I convince you— you've been wasting what you feel You need sympathy— a girlfriend's exactly what you need A girlfriend just like me A girlfriend like me Let me be your girlfriend I'll be the one you never leave behind We could take a bubble bath together Then watch Oprah reruns 'til we go blind
8.
Bob's Chaos Machine 02:36
lyrics
buy track
Dun, dun, dun, dun, DUN Dun, dun, dun, dun, bahkku bahkku
9.
Scarecrow Supergirl 03:37
lyrics
buy track
Scarecrow Supergirl (lyrics copyright 2003 by Dean Bonzani/Pint Sized Publishing) Where do you get the confidence To carry on with such innocence Penetrating with your second sight Reading minds with your seventh sense Breaking hearts with your damsel scam I'd like to buy a ticket, ma'am To see you in a bowling shirt With its pajama monogram Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl You butter my toast! You butter my toast! Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl I think you're the most! I think you're the most! My Yankee eccentricity is wholly born of ingenuity Like you, I'm just another gutter snipe Who left his wit to perpetuity Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl You butter my toast! You butter my toast! Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl I think you're the most! I think you're the most! I think you're the... Never been, never gone, but I'd like to go to Dover with you Feed some Cheetos to the gulls or just admire the view Touch the rim of the ocean as it licks at the sky Never told you, but you've got Boston Terrier eyes... I hope you never get those purple veins That run all up and down your legs And I hope you never run out of things to say In your own peculiar way And I hope you never dream of selling out Even when you're cold and dead To me, there's never been a doubt That yours is a most remarkable head Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl You butter my toast! You butter my toast! Scarecrow supergirl, scarecrow supergirl I think you're the most! I think you're the most!
10.
Fuzzy Bunny Slippers 04:41
lyrics
buy track
Fuzzy Bunny Slippers (words & music ©1996 by Dean Bonzani) Please act your age- you're making such a spectacle Tugging at your stocking tops Fogging up my spectacles Cradle to grave- you strike me as a cannibal Your hunger is insatiable Your influence is terrible Can't fool me with your fuzzy bunny slippers Put that thing down- I can't take you anywhere You're pulling a crowd Wondering at your underwear Mugging like a fishwife Cooing like a baby doll Pouting like a precious child Seething like a demon bride Slide your toes inside those fuzzy bunny slippers Must be those lashes curling like a butterfly's fingers Can't be those thighs that are tripping my trigger What's the allure of your infantile behavior? Sweet little babycakes- forbidden flavour Linger on my lips like a stolen kiss Pacify your urges with my fingertips Trailing from your hips to your fuzzy bunny slippers Must be those lashes curling like a butterfly's fingers Can't be those thighs that are tripping my trigger Maybe it's your tattoos Maybe it's your saddleshoes Come at me like voodoo Funicello hairdo Maybe it's your lipgloss Or that debutante head toss Scorpion or applesauce? Spiderweb or candyfloss? Maybe it's the cut of your fuzzy bunny slippers Maybe it's the jib of your fuzzy bunny slippers Must be those lashes curling like a butterfly's fingers Can't be those thighs that are tripping my trigger
11.
Snoobi Mood (Live) 02:56
buy track

about

Recorded in 2007, then abandoned after drummer Matty "Thunderous" Keebler disappeared the night of the album release party at Flagstaff Brewing Company (which featured a set by those rockabilly scoundrels F Holes). These tracks are re-assembled from ADAT master tapes using a painful process that involved a malfunctioning Audient iD14 that customer support was baffled by. The result? Gritty realism, best listened to at full volume while washing dishes.

credits

released December 17, 2020

Dean "März Eldritch" Bonzani: Vocals, guitar
Elizabeth "Tasha Zarathustra" Bonzani: bass, vocals
Dan "Matty 'Thunderous' Keebler" Matteson: drums, vocals, complaining

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

DEan Bonzani image

DEan Bonzani Cedaredge, Colorado

Dean Bonzani, the Mysterious Stranger, lives on Colorado's Western Slope, where he makes phantasmagoric music and co-produces the Puppet Show at The End of Time.

contact / help

Contact DEan Bonzani

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like DEan Bonzani, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featuring Riley Pinkerton (aka The Rat Queen) from the theatrical NYC rockers, Castle Rat.
listen now