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Windows In The Sky

by DEan Bonzani

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1.
Grimtown 04:35
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Grimtown words and music by Dean Bonzani copyright 2010 You were so happy then You had great plans But none of them worked out Find out who your real friends are when things go sour And suddenly, no one's around Floodwaters rising better get yourself on up to higher ground Beating back the frigid waves of panic as you slowly drown Got to get out of grim Got to get out of grim right now Got to get out of grim Got to get out of grimtown... before it drags you down You've memorized every stain on the ceiling Every crack in the floor Every conversation sounds the same And every place feels like you've been there before Tell them you're going to buy a pack of smokes Then just walk out the door Find a place that doesn't rub your mistakes in your face Won't have to explain yourself any more Got to get out of grim Got to get out of grim right now Got to get out of grim Got to get out of grimtown... before it drags you down Sailing past the silent vacant streets that somehow seem Less... empty now... than when they're full of people And if you had wings to fly, the morning mist would lift you up Into the amber and the crimson of a sky that's all horizon and you're Going to get out of grim Going to get out of grim right now Going to get out of grim Going to get out of grimtown Going to get out of grim Going to get out of grim right now Going to get out of grim Going to get out of grimtown... before it drags you down
2.
Tortured Bozos 04:20
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Tortured Bozos Tortured bozos oozing ozone into the living room rug Bringing hope to a dying atmosphere Don't know where they came from But I'm glad they're here Rusted seahorse swimming in my favorite swill Making faces at my silly Spanish maid Don't be alarmed, miss I'm just here to read the meter today That's the way the clip clop sounds Spinning through my hemispheres The charge goes round and round Echoing the wailings of the shag-bound tortured clowns They want to swing, but there are no trees to be found When I was little, I knew a place where no birds sang 'Twas quite peculiar talking with the chilling winds They told me why I was in orbit 'round a yellow star And what made me different from all of my friends And why the fun never seems to end And they said, in a while you get used to it The whispered hush of morning When you know that you are sleeping Creeping like a shadow through the windows in the sky No one says goodbye 'cause they never know you No one says goodbye 'cause they never know you've No one says goodbye 'cause they never know you've died How can you even tell of what words cannot describe How can the caterpillar understand the butterfly
3.
Far Palm 05:12
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Far Palm (words & music ©1995 by Dean Bonzani) When I feel that yours is just a pantomime Climbing up a stair that leads nowhere That's when I can doubt that you're a friend of mine That's when I try hard not to care I've been shut up with my books and abstract thoughts Building castles out of air And while I'm busy playing astronaut You're imploding from despair Leaving pieces everywhere I told you that I'd found the key to happiness All that you could do was scoff Drowning in a pool of your own bitterness Wondering why you couldn't get off Try and try to fix yourself just one more time Before the blackness takes your mind I think you'd rather lay down and lose the fight Let the thing take you from behind Slipped from the bonds of time Driveway ants and sad goodbyes Cartoon panels, notebook spines All your tapes in tidy lines Sand and ants and last goodbyes Oh, you wanderer- where have you gone? End your suffering- body bloating in the sun Left your books behind- library dark and still Haiku of misery and your collapsing will Webs on the windowsill Armchair philosopher, what have you done? Answered your wondering with a loaded gun Left these questions bare, laying in a tangled mess Where is the mystery that used to be a friend? I missed the point again Driveway ants and sad goodbyes Cartoon panels, notebook spines All your tapes in tidy lines Sand and ants and last goodbyes
4.
Sparrow 04:31
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Sparrow (words & music ©1996 by Dean Bonzani) Sparrow, sparrow— I took your tiny life Picked from the roof tiles Light fading from your eyes You were just a substitute I put my question to your throat Mute, you couldn't answer But now, I hear you singing What was I thinking Drinking down my birthright like I did? The son unblinking Old man in the body of a kid You were just a target to me I couldn't see for my blind rage Cold and true and steady I flicked your little flame away Sparrow, sparrow— I took your tiny life Picked from the roof tiles Light fading from your eyes You were just a substitute I put my question to your throat Mute, you couldn't answer But now, I hear you singing
5.
It Breaks 03:23
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Broken Broken in two, then broken in four And just when you think it can't break any more It breaks Just like you
6.
Whiskey Why 05:23
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Whiskey Why music and lyrics copyyright Dean Bonzani 6.11.10 Whiskey why do I want you tonight And whiskey when will I see you again She says she knows we've been together Now it's up to me whether it will be you or her Oh, whiskey why does life have to ask these kinds of questions Whiskey why do I dream of your sweetness And whiskey when will I taste your golden kisses She says she'll make an upright man out of me But she wants me to be something that I will never be Oh, whiskey why are there tears in her eyes Ooooooh, you make me glow inside You drive the worries from my mind When I'm holding you, I never want to let you go Whiskey why do I need you And whiskey why am I not the kind of guy who can just leave you She says she hates what you do to me And she has run out of every ounce of sympathy Oh, whiskey why do I feel like a sailor who's lost at sea Oooooh, you keep me warm inside You drive these worries from my mind When I'm holding you, I never want to let you go She says she hates what you've done to me Whiskey put me out of my misery Oh, whiskey why all these kinds of decisions Oh, whiskey why Oh, whiskey why Oh, whiskey why Oh, whiskey why Oh, whiskey why is she leaving
7.
Thinning 04:11
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Thinning Why are you always in such a hurry Always worried, always late You like to think you've got it worked out I've got it covered is what you'll say You like to offer up your opinions And softly bludgeon everything I say When will you see that the crowd's thinned out And you're the only one Who knows what the hell you're talking about And I'm the only one who cares Heard you've been keeping your nose to the grindstone Or maybe it's a mirror with an empty pen Why don't we go and have a drink So we can fight about the way that it used to be You say you love me All I want to know is... when Go on croak from your ragged throat How you'll meet that man in the overcoat So you can numb yourself to what you ought to feel What ever happened to that gentle soul I used to know You got swallowed by a hole That opened in the street Why won't you come home and sleep with me Let me be your anchor 'til the storm begins to slake I could hold you near, stop your shaking Dry your tears Believe me, I'll do anything it takes When will you see that the crowd's thinned out And you're the only one Oh, you're the only one Oh, you're the only one You're the only one You're the only one You're the only one You're the only one...
8.
Mayhem and Treason 02:30
lyrics
Mayhem and Treason (words & music ©1999 by Dean Bonzani) I came when you whistled I stayed for the rains Drank dew from a thistle Had visions again Of a place without reason That scatters the light Where mayhem and treason Turn day into night You bore me from riverblood Dripping with sleep Your luminous fingers Pulled me from the deep Now high on an island Beneath a pale sun I'm closing a book That I've barely begun I came when you whistled I waited to hear Just why you had called me And why was I here Just why have you called me And why am I here This place is a catacomb Scoured and wan A shimmering landscape Where I don't belong A crossroads Where travelers lighten their loads By leaving their dreams By the side of the road My bones are a temple Where no one may dwell A gateway whose threshold Spans Heaven and Hell My flesh feeds the ravens My eyes for a meal My hands clasp a torment That no one must feel A spade for the wicked A rose for the saint A riot of fireflies Flickers away
9.
Twin 05:25
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Twin words and music by Dean Bonzani copyright 1995 It's the way you cringe when I say you're beautiful It's the way you crawl into yourself Strikes me in a way I find familiar Reminds me of somebody else Don't we all want some words of encouragement When our own courage begins to ebb Can't we all use a dropper full of nourishment For our thirsty souls— wouldn't hurt now and then Try to drop a line into your solitude But my attention makes it worse My curiosity's a burden to me now And my persistence is a curse Don't we all want someone to ask us what we need What's the matter— was it something that came out of me When you're curled up in a ball and trembling like a leaf Are you picturing the life that you would rather lead Can I get you another magazine Or build you a cabin in the trees Would it help if I was happy Would it help if I was happy Tensed up, clenched, and wild-eyed Like an animal that has chewed off its own leg With no escape, I'll bet you'd chew through anything To break free, and finally get away Don't we all want someone to ask us what we need What's the matter— was it something that came out of me When you're curled up in a ball and trembling like a leaf Are you picturing the life that you would rather lead Well, I can't suspend your disbelief But I can build you a cabin in the trees Would it help if I was happy Would it help if I was happy Would it help if I apologized For the times I've failed and the times I've tried Would it help if I was happy

about

A diary of grief, loss, and the promise of a new day.

"Windows In The Sky" is full of quiet power. Alternately brooding and hopeful, its stories ride the fractal borders between light and shadow.

It's a tense lullaby that hangs in the air, softly swaying like ragged curtains in the blown out windows of a long abandoned home, before fading to stillness.

credits

released February 6, 2018

Recorded at Flup Lab, in Flagstaff, Arizona, in 2018.
Performance, production, and artwork by Dean Bonzani.

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DEan Bonzani Cedaredge, Colorado

Dean Bonzani, the Mysterious Stranger, lives on Colorado's Western Slope, where he makes phantasmagoric music and co-produces the Puppet Show at The End of Time.

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